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Mar. 11th, 2007 01:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tohma2004Confirmed date of Tohma-con: April 7th and 8th. You can arrive earlier and leave later if you wish ^^ Just let me know! Pilot Mountain photoshoot on the 7th. Maybe something Easter related on the 8th XD Who is coming?
I have riden Zippy 3 times this week. I feel accomplished. With show season coming up I realized just how lazy I have been. I really don't have a good reason for NOT riding. So I made a resolution to be better about going out and riding. I'm out of shape, out of practice and I feel like a terrible rider. But I can't just sit around and expect that to improve. I need to take care of that myself.
We are all going to sign it and send it to the CEO ofthe company. It may not do anything, but we'll feel better knowing we at least alerted someone of the situation. YOu all may think it is foolish...but I have decided that I can't handle what he is doing anymore. It isn't right.
I'm at the point where I have thought seriously about looking for another job. And when Mardi said she was probably leaving at the end of March that was the final straw. There are certain people in the store that make going to work bareable. People I can talk to and have fun with and that make being at work...not seem like work. She is the fourth and one of the biggest to say they are leaving or have already left. It might sound foolish just to leave because they are leaving...but if Mardi, a person who has worked in fabric for 25 years...says she can't take any more of it...then obviously things are bad.
I have thought about this alot. I know I'm being selfish about a lot of things...I have this sparkly image in my head of how a perfect job looks and I had lived in the sparkly image...until about a year ago. When I got that first taste of being in charge. When I was named STL for those three months I realized that I had to be the person in charge. And that started something very bad. Now I can't see myself being the underling anymore. I would go crazy being told what to do all the time. I like the control that I have now...but I hate the man that I'm making look good with the things that I do.
But then my mind shifts to all the things I would lose if I left. Right now I have health insurance, I have paid time off, I have a fairly flexible schedule. I get nearly every day that I request off and get paid for some of them. I make a decent amount of money. Not enough, but decent. Can I afford to give that all up and look for something new?
I have almost three years into this company. I get 152 hours of paid time off. Thats a lot of vacation time to use to to go conventions and horse shows and visit people. Will I get that if I go someplace else?
But can I stand myself if I stay? They say I should get my own store in a year. But I don't want just any store. I want my store. Do you realize what I would have to give up if I get a store someplace else? Moving would mean being away from the horses..leaving behind Ginji and Boing and Dudley and of course my Family. There would be no more horse shows. There would be no more conventions probably. That would mean giving up my friends. Is success worth all that? Can't I be successful and work close to those that I care about? Not if I stay with this company apparently...
But where would I look? What could I do? Going back to school is not an option. I couldn't do it. I'm done with education. those 4 years in college were all that I want or need. So I try and become a manager elsewhere...will I still be able to get all those days off to do what I want to do? Will other places be as flexible? Somehow I doubt it from what I have heard from others.
It boils down to me needing a job that will let me make my own schedule. I can't do the 9-5, Monday-Friday thing. It doesn't suit me. I'd rather have my days off spaced apart. I'd rather be able to stay up late some nights. Where can I find a someplace like that? Where can I have a flexible schedule, be a manager, make enough money to do all the things I like? Does that exist? I would almost have to be self employed I think...but self employed and doing what? What do I have to offer? There is nothing that I can come up with...
So I'm stuck. I'm spoiled and unhappy with the place I am at...but would lose too much if I left. Where is my sparkly happy place that i once had? I want it back...All it would take would be for him to go away...that is the simplist of answers...he needs to just disappear and let us have our store back. But that won't happen.
Cut for lengthy work angst discussion.
Onto happier things! I finished Ouran today! Which is actually kinda sad too cause I liked Ouran...is it bad that a Tamaki cosplayer wants Haruhi to end up with the twin that likes her? Probably eh? XD but anyway, must love to this series. I'll probably watch it again. I've already rewatched the Haruhi in Wonderland episode like 3 times XD
I also watched more blood+. Without being too spoilerific...little Hagi! *_* Riku! ;_; Diva >_< Moses U_U Phew. Up to episode 37 now. I smell terrible and depressing ending in the future, but I am prepared!
I guess thats it
I have riden Zippy 3 times this week. I feel accomplished. With show season coming up I realized just how lazy I have been. I really don't have a good reason for NOT riding. So I made a resolution to be better about going out and riding. I'm out of shape, out of practice and I feel like a terrible rider. But I can't just sit around and expect that to improve. I need to take care of that myself.
We are all going to sign it and send it to the CEO ofthe company. It may not do anything, but we'll feel better knowing we at least alerted someone of the situation. YOu all may think it is foolish...but I have decided that I can't handle what he is doing anymore. It isn't right.
I'm at the point where I have thought seriously about looking for another job. And when Mardi said she was probably leaving at the end of March that was the final straw. There are certain people in the store that make going to work bareable. People I can talk to and have fun with and that make being at work...not seem like work. She is the fourth and one of the biggest to say they are leaving or have already left. It might sound foolish just to leave because they are leaving...but if Mardi, a person who has worked in fabric for 25 years...says she can't take any more of it...then obviously things are bad.
I have thought about this alot. I know I'm being selfish about a lot of things...I have this sparkly image in my head of how a perfect job looks and I had lived in the sparkly image...until about a year ago. When I got that first taste of being in charge. When I was named STL for those three months I realized that I had to be the person in charge. And that started something very bad. Now I can't see myself being the underling anymore. I would go crazy being told what to do all the time. I like the control that I have now...but I hate the man that I'm making look good with the things that I do.
But then my mind shifts to all the things I would lose if I left. Right now I have health insurance, I have paid time off, I have a fairly flexible schedule. I get nearly every day that I request off and get paid for some of them. I make a decent amount of money. Not enough, but decent. Can I afford to give that all up and look for something new?
I have almost three years into this company. I get 152 hours of paid time off. Thats a lot of vacation time to use to to go conventions and horse shows and visit people. Will I get that if I go someplace else?
But can I stand myself if I stay? They say I should get my own store in a year. But I don't want just any store. I want my store. Do you realize what I would have to give up if I get a store someplace else? Moving would mean being away from the horses..leaving behind Ginji and Boing and Dudley and of course my Family. There would be no more horse shows. There would be no more conventions probably. That would mean giving up my friends. Is success worth all that? Can't I be successful and work close to those that I care about? Not if I stay with this company apparently...
But where would I look? What could I do? Going back to school is not an option. I couldn't do it. I'm done with education. those 4 years in college were all that I want or need. So I try and become a manager elsewhere...will I still be able to get all those days off to do what I want to do? Will other places be as flexible? Somehow I doubt it from what I have heard from others.
It boils down to me needing a job that will let me make my own schedule. I can't do the 9-5, Monday-Friday thing. It doesn't suit me. I'd rather have my days off spaced apart. I'd rather be able to stay up late some nights. Where can I find a someplace like that? Where can I have a flexible schedule, be a manager, make enough money to do all the things I like? Does that exist? I would almost have to be self employed I think...but self employed and doing what? What do I have to offer? There is nothing that I can come up with...
So I'm stuck. I'm spoiled and unhappy with the place I am at...but would lose too much if I left. Where is my sparkly happy place that i once had? I want it back...All it would take would be for him to go away...that is the simplist of answers...he needs to just disappear and let us have our store back. But that won't happen.
Cut for lengthy work angst discussion.
Onto happier things! I finished Ouran today! Which is actually kinda sad too cause I liked Ouran...is it bad that a Tamaki cosplayer wants Haruhi to end up with the twin that likes her? Probably eh? XD but anyway, must love to this series. I'll probably watch it again. I've already rewatched the Haruhi in Wonderland episode like 3 times XD
I also watched more blood+. Without being too spoilerific...little Hagi! *_* Riku! ;_; Diva >_< Moses U_U Phew. Up to episode 37 now. I smell terrible and depressing ending in the future, but I am prepared!
I guess thats it
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-11 03:42 pm (UTC)